So a few days after my last blog we discovered I was pregnant again. We were nervous as we have a history of bad pregnancies, loss due to genetic abnormalities, etc. So very rough all around. Things had been going well until 2 weeks ago. I went in for my routine appt/ultrasound for 20 weeks and the doctor could find no heartbeat. It was devastating. For many reasons. One, it was a boy, we have all girls and we had a son who passed away due to birth defects and being born to early. So we were excited to have a boy. So they induced my labor and our son was born on Beltane at 4 am. So just over two weeks ago now. We are handling it well for a few reasons, this isn't our first loss like this, we still have 3 beautifully healthy girls in our lives and we have each other.
Don't get me wrong, we still have our daily sadness and struggles. However I know that everything will be ok. We will be ok. As time goes on we will feel less and less devastated.
On a happier note, I started school a few months ago and I just finished up my first term as a college student, managing a crazy life (lol), mother of 3, married to a man in the Army, and got great grades!
I pretty much stopped all my pagan involvement for a while and traveled back into Atheism, BUT, I must put a disclaimer on that and say that just because I do not believe there is a god, doesn't mean I don't feel connected, spiritually and energy wise to others in this world and to this world in general. :) I love paganism and find it fulfilling on my own terms of spirituality :) So I am happy and now that my life has settled down I am starting to get back into my own personal Pagan practice.
Thats my update friends. I have missed you and I have been disconnected. Hope you all are well. Let me know! <3
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